Wrap: Comic Steve Byrne

We funnied it up with witty and offensively handsome comedian Steve Byrne and a special guest!

Watch this show, it’s good for you. www.thestream.tv

This was our last show of the year (awwwww) and we did it with two out of three regulars (Jessie was out “sick”; ugly rumors had her nursing a violent and durable post-birthday hangover). The very capable and not at all hung over Martini Beerman did IM duties for the night, and has so far escaped with only minimal psychological damage.

Well, if your surname is "Beerman", you pretty much have to live the part. Martini models her beverage of choice.

With our crew thus assembled, we launched right into the comedy. Because that’s what we likes to do and it sure beats slinging burgers for a living. Stu got things started by possibly offending yet another state in our great Union, trotting out his impersonation of “Jersey Guy”. We also might have ticked off a few cars by showing controversial pictures from John and Stu’s visit to the LA Auto Show in our first bit, “Car Show, Yo“. Okay, maybe not controversial, unless you’re offended by Our Host’s white gangsta posing in front of various bland automobiles. Really, Stu, you should act more appropriately around generic, mass-produced vehicles.

Once we were done with the cars, it was time for the guests. The main Occupier of Guest Chair was comedian Steve Byrne, fast ascending the various Mounts Olympus of the comedy world (The Tonight Show, an HBO special, USO tours, etc.). Steve is of mixed Korean and Irish DNA, and Stu asked if his upbringing or ancestry had anything to do with his choice of joke telling as a profession. No, actually it was because working as a grunt at a comedy club was the only job he could get in New York back in his lean days. How’s that for destiny?

One of these two guys is actively entertaining the audience. Can you guess which? (hint: it's probably not Stu)

We then launched into the really deep, philosophical questions, from both Stu and the chat room, like “do you ever get mistaken for Jon of Jon & Kate Plus 8?“ (answer: no, because Steve’s in decent shape and actually has talent). The interview built to a rousing crescendo with the nail-biting game show segment of the evening, “Korean Or Irish Proverb”? The studio audience could barely keep to their seats as Steve desperately groped for answers (actually, maybe that was because of all the energy drink they overdosed on). Amazingly, such dissimilar cultures as Korea and Ireland seem to produce the same variety of homespun wisdom about cattle carts and hungry mice, so Steve barely eked out a win, answering a bare minimum of the queries correctly.

We had another burning question for him, being the smart and good looking entertainer he is. How, oh how, would he ask our fetchingly attractive producer LV out on a date? Looking into the camera, he deadpanned “show me some respect”. Aha, now that’s how showbiz types get the ladies. Boys, are you taking notes?

Stu finally figures out the difference between Korea and Ireland, while Steve acts convincingly impressed.

Steve was only getting warmed up. He was so overjoyed at his victory in the proverb quiz, he started dry-humping the host desk. Never let it be said that we don’t make an effort to please our guests. Or our studio props, come to think of it.

We still have it in us to entertain the old fashioned way, though, and to prove it we brought out our special guest, actress Danielle Bisutti. The very tuneful Danielle sang a few numbers with John, closing the show with a nice hit or two of music.

John shows us a little leg. And he's not even drunk yet! Don't feed him any beer, whatever you do.

The two harmonizers also closed out our 2009. It was a hell of a year, and we’re glad even the host desk got some action out of it. Who knows which props will be propositioned in 2010; tune in to find out. We’re back in mid-January, so enjoy your holidays and New Year while we’re getting our R&R. And good luck hitting on that furniture.

The internet is evil and a waste of time! Except for our show’s home at www.thestream.tv

Other links n’ stuff: past shows, Feedburner,  Twitter, iTunes, Zune, Facebook, LiveFromTheFuture.com

Wrap: Musetta Vander and the Hillenbrand brothers from Transylmania!

We give thanks for vampires, 800 year old Romanian castles and our guests, actress Musetta Vander and directors Scott and David Hillenbrand of the upcoming horror comedy feature, Transylmania.

See this episode – in color! – at www.theStream.tv

As anyone in Los Angeles will tell you, Halloween in this city stretches pretty far past October 31. For us, it’s lasted well into Thanksgiving, as we hosted a troika of guests from the soon-to-be-released vampire spoof, Transylmania - in theaters December 4th, 2009.

We did kowtow a little to the current holiday. We effected this in true, grand LIVE! From the Future… style with Stu venting about the worst Thanksgiving side dishes ever. His candidates? Yams with those ugly little wet marshmallows.

Andrea Ball (andreaball.com) gets ready to take some live Instant Messages in her "Beat It" edition jacket. Smooth, criminal baby!

Our IM Girl for the evening, the lovely and vivacious Andrea Ball (substituting for Jessie Schneiderman), volunteered green beans as her least favorite side dish, and LFTF’s musical director, John Fulton, piped up that he hated cranberry sauce. Communist! At least that’s what I think he said; honestly, nobody pays him any attention when he’s not playing music.

John Fulton, the new spokesman for "Midnight Von Douche"

Jared "I brought the tripods and legal releases" Greenhouse shows us his one-handed technique.

Subsequent to this discussion, we welcomed Musetta Vander, one of the stars of Transylmania, who plays vampire hunter Teodora van Sloan (which, coincidentally, is also the name of John Fulton’s transvestite lounge singer alter ego).

Actress Musetta Vander, aka "Teodora Van Sloan" from the new comedy feature "Transylmania" talks about Zip Lining from a castle, training with knives and the countless ways she could punish Stu.

Cheerful Musetta talked about her experiences on the (freezing cold Romanian) set of Transylmania, which included delivering her lines in an Eastern European accent (hot!), taking sword fighting lessons for a month (er, not that kind of sword fighting), and training in martial arts.

Musetta Vander sharpens her fingers as she prepares to stab Stu in the neck - vampire-style.

Then it was time for Musetta to play: “Ikea or Romanian Town?” Thanks to our little quiz, Musetta is now well acquainted with the best cheap pillowcases the Swedes have to offer, and the countless Romanian towns that no one can pronounce. Who says you don’t learn anything on our show?

John tries to convince Andrea that some women actually like his sweater.

Next up were Musetta’s former bosses, Scott and David Hillenbrand, the directors of Transylmania. Scott and David have tag-teamed for over half a dozen movies, including National Lampoon Presents: Dorm Daze, and their collaboration reaches back far in the past – they’ve been making films together since childhood.

Scott and David Hillenbrand listen unenthusiastically to Stu's movie pitches, inlcuding: "Octopus Outfielder: the life and times of Duke McNutts", "Tardball", the unofficial sequel to Dodgeball and "Earnest goes to Hometown Buffet", the proposed 15th installment of the beloved "Earnest goes to..." series.

We tested just how strong those bonds really are by putting the brothers through our notorious “59 Second Gauntlet” (formerly the “60 Second Gauntlet”, now shaved for budgetary reasons). Scott fired off a few quick and theoretically correct answers, but David struggled to come up with a meaningful comeback or two – one stumper was, “Biggest jerk in high school?” Might I propose example “A” below?

John Fulton was a bouncer at LL Bean.

Wow, all that questioning and zip lining and Ikea catalog itemizing really made us hungry. We’re gonna feast for a few days, then we’ll see you at the usual time next Tuesday for a fresh new show. Until then, happy Thanksgiving from all of us LFTFers. Pass the yams and marshmallows, will ya?

See this show now at www.theStream.tv

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WRAP: Mitch Fatel and Gary Cannon!

Tuesday, November 10 2009 – we were drenched in comedy and biological fluids with standups Mitch Fatel and Gary Cannon.

Feast your eyes – and other organs – on this episode at www.theStream.tv

This episode’s recurring theme was comedy comedy COMEDY, as we hosted the dangerous twin-barreled standup tandem of Mitch Fatel and Gary Cannon.

(Had we been drinking, someone would have gotten seriously hurt)

Before our esteemed guests took their chairs, we read a letter from one viewer in Florida, who asked why, oh why, does Stu find it necessary to mock and insult that great state’s capitol city, Tallahassee? Nothing personal, Anonymous Letter Writer, Stu just hates the place with an unreasonable and bitter passion.

John and Jessie warm up their pipes… and their vocal chords.

On a more positive note, the second episode of the Stu-starring web series Hurtling Through Space At An Alarming Rate has debuted, and our Host tried to prove it by showing a clip from the webisode. Which would have been a lot of fun, except the clip got truncated at about the 1.3 second mark.

Check out a new episode every Monday on Babelgum.com/htsaaar) (*Note: Stu wrote the November 16th episode – The Planet of eventually exploding timebombs of calamitous proportions)

Back here in sunny, gulag-free Los Angeles, Mitch arrived with a whole bunch of swag, namely DVDs and CDs of his appearances.

Mitch signing the DVD’s and CD’s for the guy who won: 4 guys named Stuart; uncanny!

He also arrived with a special lodging request – permission to fall asleep on Jessie’s lady business.

Mitch, proving that this “genital-sleeping clause” is actually in Mitch’s contract.

Mitch, demonstrating his sleeping technique on Gary Cannon’s “hand-gina”

Payoff: Mitch, finally making good on his end of the bargain to sleep where babies are made. Jessie, happily obliges. Team player, Jessie!

In addition to helping Mitch satisfy the Jessie request, we also extracted a few juicy road stories from the ever-touring comedians, such as the time Mitch heroically accepted a sloppy seconds BEEJ in a San Jose green room.

Mitch explains exactly how the accommodating young San Jose resident replaced her tongue ring after personally thanking both Gary and Mitch for a good show. Ah, the road.

John Fulton was on fire this night, playing so fast, he literally became a blur.

John Fulton played in the band “Blur” in the 90’s.

Gary, Mitch, Stu and the multi-talented Jared Greenhouse discuss the gay porn they will shoot – “Blazing Saddle Rash”

Producer Lauren “LV” Valdez takes a moment to reflect on life; courtesy of Newsweek and Maxim.

A rare behind the scenes look at the studio – that’s Brian Gramo’s hat in the bottom left, Producer LV, Stu and Jared Greenhouse. Great times!

Watch this show RIGHT HERE!

Next Tuesday, November 17th: Filmmaker Ryan Combs!

LIVE! Tuesdays at 8PM at TheStream.TV

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TONIGHT: Director Ti West “The House of the Devil” and “Paranormal Activity’s” Ashley Palmer!

So it’s the bloody time of the year again, the season to dust off the old VHS copy of Halloween and buy lots of candy corn so the evil kids in the neighborhood don’t toilet paper your house. Likewise for us at Live! From the Future… the upcoming spook holiday means one thing – horror horror HORROR and plenty of it. For our guest is (cue minor-chord Gothic pipe organ) a rising star of everyone’s favorite blood-stained genre, film director Ti West.

Ti’s most recent effort is the upcoming The House of the Devil, a 1980s-style (and set) slasher pic that has been receiving positive notices from the horror cognoscenti as an intelligent, well-paced shocker. Not yet 30 years old, Ti already has several film credits as a director, and is currently busy with his next project, The Haunting in Georgia.

Also, Ashley Palmer from Paramount Studios’ hit movie: Paranormal Activity. Asheley began her acting career at age five when she played the title role in a community production of Chicken Little. Since then, she has received a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Acting/Musical Theatre and has captured the attention of audiences on the New York stage, film festivals, and primetime television shows on FOX, HBO, E! and the Style Network.

Rumors that Stu and Jessie will appear in costume with graphically realistic oozing wounds appear at the moment to be unfounded. But you never know, strange things happen on Halloween – we might even be funny! Heh heh. Just a joke Stu, please don’t fire us.

Got questions for Ti or Ashley? – LINK HERE

Wanna watch/interact with Ti and Ashley at 8PM PST tonight? CLICK HERE

Check out any of our PAST (over 110) shows HERE!

Our website is better than sex! Okay, maybe not, but it’s a nice break between visits to your favorite porn sites.

Upcoming: Antonio Sabato Jr. from My Antonio next FRIDAY

After a fun show with John Fulton substituting in the host’s chair, we’re gonna get even funner with the return of Stu to said piece of furniture. We have a single guest for our upcoming episode, but what a guest – Antonio Sabato Jr., from VH1’s hot reality show My Antonio.

In My Antonio, set on the Big Island in Hawaii, the titular actor has to whittle a crop of 14 lovely women down to one single mate. Gosh, some guys have the toughest jobs. The first season of the show is currently airing. In addition to his Hawaiian adventure, Antonio is a veteran actor who has logged many hours in front of the camera. Among his notable roles is Dante Damiano on the durable CBS soap opera The Bold and the Beautiful. He previously got soapy for several years as a cast member of General Hospital, later reprising his character in the spinoff series General Hospital: Night Shift. In addition, he has played recurring characters and made guest appearances on many top TV shows, including the original Melrose Place,  NCIS, Charmed and Ally McBeal. His movie resume is similarly crowded, and Antonio has also occupied the producer’s chair on more than one filmic effort. Now if all of the above doesn’t qualify a man to win the heart of a beautiful female on a Hawaiian island, I don’t know what does.

Speaking of beautiful women, Stu… uh, whoops, I don’t think he wants that cross-dressing lounge singer secret to get out quite yet… anyway, Stu will be brandishing a fresh Canadian tan after his working break in the Great White North and will be primed and ready to resume his hosting duties. John Fulton will return to the music director chair while covetously eyeballing the host’s chair, and Jessie Schnooterman, complete with her patented Jewbs, will hold down the IM unit. Needless to say, we’ll also feature the usual menu of gags n’ games and interview fun.

See you online for the festivities, but don’t forget, this one airs on a special night – Friday, to be exact (that’s October 23 for you calendar-heads).

Got questions for Mr. Sabato Jr. – POST ‘EM HERE

Jack Stehlin from WEEDS!

LIVE! From the Future…with Stuart Paap!

From Showtimes’s WEEDS, actor Jack Stehlin!

Watch this episode on www.theStream.tv

Mr. DEA himself (with a secret) Captain Roy Till aka Jack Stehlin was our guest on Tuesday, June 16th at 8PM on TheStream.TV. Contrary to his character, Jack was laid back, fun and might have even partaken in some “herbal arts” before the show (I’m kidding, he got high after the show. Again, kidding. He got both of us high after the show. Ok, I’m done now. *Jack Stehlin doens’t do drugs and neither do I – Oxycontin isn’t a drug, right?)

(”See Stu, when you massage, start with the shoulders, then work your way down to the ass. Not the other way”.)

We learned a lot this show: That John Fulton is threatening to leave the show (something to do with cats?), how I met Brian on Craigslist, that I believe in marriage for all, legalizing prostitution and (spoiler alert) everybody gets one legal murder per lifetime… who’s with me? Sadly, Jessie Schneiderman’s car broke down, but @JesV did a great job as our IM GIRL!

Lots of bits this show: Some interactive chat-room fun with If I were President, a show-n-tell bit Street Trash with Stu (sex, drugs and polar bears), and John phones it in with six semi-original songs. I got three words for you: John Cougar Mellencamp.

(Johnny “Cougar” Fulron warms up his pipes…)

Then it was time for our featured guest Mr. Jack Stehlin (pronounced Stay-lin). Jack was 100% game for everything – just about the coolest guy I’ve met in a while (sorry Carrot Top). He talked about his Serpico moment, playing college baseball, having a Great-Grandfather in the Circus, working with Al Pacino and obviously putting on a wig, getting naked in a cabinet and yelling on stage (You too? We have so much in common!)

(Jack Stehlin and Stuart Paap discuss acting, Showtimes WEEDS and Tibetan pan flauting.)

We played a game with Jack: Weed Shop or Stoner Band? (listen for John’s killer theme music, courtesy of the Mr. Zany’s Taco Shack in Orlando, Florida), checked in with Wikipedia to see if all the facts written about Jack were true in a segment called WIKI-TTY-FACT!, and last but not least, Jack taught the audience his patented: Jack Stehlin “Slow Burn” Technique!

(Stu prays for good questions while Jack contemplates which chatroom is the most coherent.)

What are you waiting for? Click it and watch…

Photos by Lightning Bolt Magistro

Check out Jack’s amazing theater company, Circus Theatricals, his new Twitter account @JackStehlin

“LIVE! From the future… with Stuart Paap!”
A LIVE interactive late night comedy talk show from the future.
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Chanel Ryan – bikinis, beer and the Bahamas!

LIVE! From the Future…with Stuart Paap!

Welcome our guest, Bikini Model, Chanel Ryan!

(Check out her episode HERE!)

Don’t let anybody ever tell you that trucker speed don’t work, ’cause we loaded up on it by the barrel (kidding, Mom) and brought the party on Tuesday, May 19th at 8PM (exactly!) Even my Mom was on the show and had a PBR (“it’s a little spicy!”).

(Model Chanel Ryan answered a question from the chat room while I wondered if I left my Ford Escort unlocked).

I was slugging some sweet sweet (and personally branded) PBR (which should be called: Paap’s Blue Ribbon). Of course, every show I am joined by “El Rapisto”, Juan Fulton, and he told me that if my hair was running for President – it would get his vote. Usually we are with Jessie Schneiderman, but she was sick We missed you Shcneiderpants! However, Jess V ably filled in.

We also talked about how TheStream.TV is transitioning to Wide Screen as of June 8th, 2009, but John’s biggest concern was: “Am I going to look fatter in widescreen Stu?” “No, just Girthier”. Then John delivered 3 genius songs right on the spot in an-interactive-chat-room-centered-bit called You Supply the Song Title, including “Drunk dialing ex-girlfriends”, “Red Hot Pooper” (About Mexican food) and of course: “Love ran down your leg”

(America’s Son, John Fulton made up 7 new songs in one night – just another night.)

Next, Jeff Trail paid us a visit, then I interviewed candidate #2 for My New Friend; a Mr. Steve Tiezen (who turned out to be candidate #1, Dave Tieck, in disguise). Eventually, I got to speak with the real candidate #2, Octavia Smith, but things did not go too well (Dave and Olivia started dry humping in the lobby).

(Chanel Ryan considered a marriage proposal from a chatroomer named RockLobster35 for about 2 seconds.)

Then, we met bikini model Chanel Ryan! We discussed which coast has Costa Rican drug smugglers (hint: it’s the one near the water), plus, she told us how she’s a vegetarian but still eats at McDonald’s (it’s a technicality). Then we watched some of her Beach Moves in a video clip, we played Bedroom or Kitchen? with some naughty bits, and finally we gave away some (hopefully waterproof) Chanel Ryan playing cards and posters.

What are you waiting for? Click it and watch…

All photos by Lightning Bolt Magistro

“LIVE! From the future… with Stuart Paap!”
A LIVE, interactive late night comedy talk show from the future.
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We hart Shane Hartline

LIVE! From the Future…with Stuart Paap!

May 5th, 2009!

SNLorBUST.com’s Shane Hartline!

(Watch Shane tear it up on our show HERE!)

We strapped on our helmets and did some 4 wheelin’ – in a live-online-comedy-talk-show kind of way. The handsomely attired and vivacious Jessie Schniederman told us the definition of a F.U.P.A. (apparently, it’s not a Sylvester Stallone movie), Juan Fulton (which means John Fulton in English) played the 5 string tonight and I gave everyone a whiff of my musk (er… strike that).

(John and Jessie try to inhale the “contact high” in the room; doesn’t work that way.)

First up, we delivered you some good news: 6 bright spots in the economy! Then we did the chatroom’s favorite new bit: You Supply The Punchline – Star Trek Edition, (even Brian Gramo brought us a punchline from/for the nerds). After that, Jessie showed us her new look: Barcelona-hipster-meets-1976-Pennsylvania-Dutch-Country-Summer-Camp-Cheerleader, and I gave everyone a taste of Nelson, my Dad’s Ecuadorian tennis pro.

(Stu, John and Jessie point to the one pervert on the show – YOU – on the roof of TheStream.TV 2.0 studios)

Next up, I decided to open my life for one more friend in a new bit called: My New Friend. First contestant was Australian Dave Tieck. His entrance was weak, and he is Australian (is that even a country?), and he was boasting a limp handshake… Needless to say, it was not looking good. But then I had him plan our perfect man-date (which involved squash – the sport – not the vegetable), and things were looking up!

(Dave Tieck tries not too hard to become my friend and I survey the results.)

Then, we powered up with 30 seconds of IM names (Someone’s name in the chatroom was: FultonYay), we welcomed Shane Hartline (SNLorBust.com), talked about his new DVD called: Skittin Across America, discussed how he’s giving proceeds to the Chris Farley Foundation, gave away some DVD’s, took some questions for Shane from the chatroom, watched Shane try to talk to an alien (Jessie ruined it), saw the Happy Dog Dance, and rounded out the interview with an improvised scene of Batman (Stu) and The Joker (Shane) arguing over Mexican food.

(Shane considers running out on the show and I grow a hand on my face).

Finally, for all the hardcore fans, we brought out Strictly Platonic! – No sex, unless we do.

All photos by Lightning Bolt Magistro

“LIVE! From the future… with Stuart Paap!”
A LIVE, interactive late night comedy talk show from the future.
Subscribe to our show HERE!
Watch all our shows HERE!
Twollow us of Fitter HERE!