Wrap: Brian Posehn and Dawn Olivieri

Gracing our studio was the excessively tall yet very humorous Brian Posehn from The Sarah Silverman Program, and the excessively long-haired yet very smart Dawn Olivieri, lately of Heroes and soon to appear in True Blood.

Watch this episode, it has 100% of the R.D.A. of Brian. www.thestream.tv

We’re suckers for tall guests. We’re also suckers for funny guests. So actor/writer/standup comedian Brian Posehn – all 6′ 6″ of him – matched our tastes perfectly. Somehow we fit Brian into our camera frame, and managed to interview him about the recent developments in his career. For the most part, this had to do with his constant standup touring as well as his upcoming DVD Fart and Weiner Jokes. We also quizzed him about his role in The Sarah Silverman Program, starring a woman who’s at best two-thirds his size. In spite of that, Brian enjoys his role – an easy once, since most of what he’s required to do is sit around and look irate.

Brian nearly hits his head on the ceiling merely by standing up, while Stu requisitions a hard hat.

No one’s going to challenge a tall man’s taste in movies, but that didn’t stop us from taxing Brian’s knowledge of his favorite genre. We imposed a game on him - “Horror Movie or Porno” – in which he had to… well, you get the point. Horror-head Brian screeched by with a win despite a few miscues (yes, Satan Lake really is a porno. It’s even one of the featured rarities in Stu’s massive 1970s skin flick collection).

Brian crafts a delicate piece of smokeable sculpture using a toilet paper roll. Who says our show isn't artistic?

We wrapped Brian’s segment with a bit inspired by the aching love stanzas of William Shakespeare’s sonnets, “Dirt Bag D.I.Y.” In this special how-to, Brian showed us how to make a pipe out of nothing more than a toilet paper roll and a piece of tin foil. NOTE: this does NOT imply that we condone the usage of illicit substances. Unless, of course, you have some on your person. In that case, please send it at once to our offices, specifically the blog writing department. We’ll even mention your name on air if we can somehow remember it.

Our host tries to beat Dawn in a chin-holding contest... and loses by a mile.

Next up was the lovely Dawn Olivieri. Dawn’s a rising star in the film and TV world, enjoying a recurring role on NBC’s Heroes and currently lensing a part as a member of a werewolf family in the HBO vampire Gothic True Blood. In between these gigs, she manages to hop around the world at least a little bit – she told us a tale or two about her experiences backpacking in Peru. No word on whether this involved full moon howling or raw meat eating, however.

With our guests, it was a horror-filled night (and no, we’re not making a sly reference to John Fulton’s frightening argyle sweater). So we decided to continue the theme with Dawn, attacking her mercilessly with “Horror Virgins”, a quiz in which she had to identify which actor from a multiple choice pack made their debut in a named horror movie.  Dawn wasn’t too keen on the game, yet she soldiered on, nailing all of the questions she was asked.

Dawn and Stu display gang signs from their days together in the Young Hairy Lycanthropes posse.

Finally, we took her for a midnight, full moon race along our “59 Second Gauntlet”. Very few have run the full gauntlet and lived to tell the tale (come on, give us a break; we gotta hype it up somehow). Dawn made our Wall of Geniuses for finishing it, squeezing in all 16 of her answers in something like 0:58:99.99525. Now if that doesn’t make her a prize guest, what does?

The gang celebrates, while John reacts to Stu's decree that only solid-color outerwear will be allowed on the show.

Well, kinky and twisted Craigslist postings certainly would. We capped off the episode with a new edition of “Strictly Platonic”, and man, if you think werewolves and artificial blood-drinking vampires are weird, get a load of these folk. One contributor was seeking a “teacher for sexual competence” – apparently of the platonic variety – for which he was well qualified, as he’s “six feet tall. Inexperienced. Hung.” Another headline grabber was Mr. (we think) “Cunnilingus addict won’t quit!”. This gentleman or lady wrote, “Hell, there are worse things to be addicted to!”. Yes … like bad spelling. Despite his obvious passion, this person badly mangled his favorite word by spelling it “Cunningluingus”. We hope his/her technique is at least a little better.

None of this blog post is a lie… for the most part. See the evidence when you watch this episode at www.thestream.tv

Guess who’s the “BEST LIVE SHOW of 2009”? Indeed – us truly.

You can’t have cufflinks without the word “links”. Kinda makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Watch all our shows, Feedburner, Twitter, iTunes, Zune, Facebook, YouTube, IMDB, LiveFromTheFuture.com

Wrap: David Fickas and Brice Beckham from The Iceman Chronicles

We talked Icemen, entertainers named Jack and 1980s sitcoms with our new friends David Fickas and Brice Beckham of the web series The Iceman Chronicles and wholesome family short film Buttf#$%er.

Watch this episode or the Iceman will get you. Oooh, kids, that’s scary.  www.thestream.tv

We’ve been doing this live internet TV show thing for a while, so we’re happy when we can bring on guests who are similarly web TV activated. David Fickas and Brice Beckham are longtime collaborators whose web series The Iceman Chronicles is building up a good amount of buzz on the internets.

Jack shows us how real guitarists play - right handed.

Speaking of a good buzz, our mainstay musical director John Fulton was absent this show – apparently his little “business trip” to Tijuana didn’t go quite as smoothly as planned. What’s the Spanish phrase for “Please allow me to visit the ATM to retrieve my bail money”, by the way? Regardless, he was replaced by his bandmate from the Fresh,  Jack Voorhies. Jack got right into the spirit of things by writing and singing a lovely, heartbreaking ditty that perfectly encapsulated many moments on our show, “The Awkward Song”. Were those tears in Jessie’s eyes as she sang harmony on this tune?

Our esteemed producer LV actually laughs at one of Stu's jokes. We captured this rare and special moment on film.

Despite Jack’s newness and decency in helping us do the show, Stu decided to subject him to a trial by fire. In Live! From the Future terms, this means a round of “You Supply the Set-Up”, in which chat roomers and friends sent in joke set-ups for Jack and Stu to complete. We’re not exactly sure who won this game; we were too busy doubled over laughing at Stu’s attempts to finish the gags. Joke set ups courtesy of: Tom K Video, Tom Clark, Chris Strait, Gary Cannon, and Senor Shutter!

Stu pitches a sequel to Buttf%$#er. Stu, it's not meant to be a DOCUMENTARY.

Thankfully, we had David and Brice to rescue us. Our guests took us through their long history together, first as schoolmates at USC and later as co-creators of the VH1 series I Hate My 30s. The pair, who split writing, producing, directing and acting tasks, are admirably active in the web sphere. They’ve created the very funny short video Buttfucker in addition to the currently running The Iceman Chronicles, in which David plays a goofy pathologist/veterinarian trying to figure out a puzzling murder.

David shows everyone his private technique - clearly, Brice is a bit uncomfortable with this.

David plays a smart figuring out type of person on his series, so we somehow thought it’d be appropriate if we gave he and Brice a quiz. This one, in honor of our brave musical fill-in, was entitled “You Don’t Know Jack”, and pitted our guest pair against the esteemed Mr. Voorhies.

Our guests lose their cool and threaten Stu's life - 3rd time this week, Stu.

The three guys compete in an intense staring contest. Brice won; he's still gazing at our wall several days later.

The two teams had to compete to identify a particular Jack from a set of clues; the first team/individual to answer won the round. Muddying these waters greatly was Stu, who was a little vague about the rules for calling out the answers. Hand raised? Name shouted? Answer barked? We never really figured it out (”that’s awkwaaaaard…”). Nevertheless, David and Brice took the victory, nailing the final query (”Cracker Jack”) in microseconds. Or at least we think they won; the well-bribed judges are still counting the tally cards and will have an answer “within a few years, we promise”.

Jack Voorhies, elated as usual. Comedy = tortured souls.

While Jack seethed and thought of vengeful lyrics for an “I Hate Stu” song or double album, we wrapped the show with one of our old standbys, “Strictly Platonic”.  We had several winners in this edition, including a man who was willing to pay “100 Roses” for a nude lap dance (nothing erotic about that, no sir), and a person seeking his “dolphin princess” who naturally must possess “sleek rubbery skin and sonar”. Gosh, that sounds exactly like Jessie! Wow, where would the world of online dating be without us, eh?

Jessie sends one final text before transforming herself into a sea mammal in order to attract more suitable mates.

"What, you taped the WHOLE THING? That wasn't in the release form!"

Watch this episode, it’s funnier than Lost. We even have a Smog Monster! Okay, maybe not. www.thestream.tv

You voted us “BEST LIVE SHOW of 2009!”. In return, we’ll name our first four children after you…  as long as you’re named “Vladislav”.

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Wrap: Rad Girls – play ukelele, drink beer, play trivia and eat crickets!

Could any threesome in this world get cruder, more scatological and scarily funny than Stu, John and Jessie? Oh my, yes. Exhibit A, B and C: the Rad Girls.

Watch this – with a can of whipped cream, if possible – at www.thestream.tv

It’s unusual to find a young woman willing to pull outrageous pranks and nasty stunts involving foul bodily fluids. It’s unusual-er to happen upon three of them. Our guests for the night were the trilogy of unholy terror called the Rad Girls. The ladies – individually Ramona Ca$h, Darling Clementine and Munchie - have been described as a female version of Jackass, and have been prankstering for half a decade now.

John, Jessie and Stu, after learning how to pose from the Sears photo center.

We interviewed the girls in semi-alphabetical order, because we’re smart like that. Ramona obligingly went through the history of the troupe, filling us in on their most recent exploits. This included fun stuff like stage diving during Warped tour sets… with a fake pregnancy belly pillow. Apparently the girls really freaked out the tender 15-year olds in attendance. Hey Ramona, that’s nothing – Stu’s been doing that unintentionally for over a decade now.

She may have spelled R-A-D on her lip, but wait 'til you see where she put "GIRLS". No, not there. And not there... yes... yes, right there.

We wrapped Ramona’s segment with a tidy little blast of our “Useless Skills With…” bit. In her case, it was playing the ukulele. Somehow, we begged, borrowed or stole (probably #3) a genuine ukulele, with which she played a Hawaiian serenade. Useless? Says who? Hell, she made the Fulron jealous with her skill. That seems pretty useful to us.

Ramona orders Stu off his own show. Not the first time it's happened.

Next for a grilling was Darling Clementine. In addition to scaring the living Bejesus out of impressionable teenagers at touring punk rock concerts, Darling’s kept herself busy by nearly getting busted for impersonating a waitress. See, the girls were doing a prank at a Sonic’s restaurant, delivering odd items instead of the honest greasy hamburgers ordered by the patrons. An over-zealous cop happened to pull over and discover this horrendous crime, and he dutifully slapped the cuffs on our friend. Boy, it’s great that our tax dollars are going towards good, diligent crime fighting. This incident, to no one’s surprise (especially Stu’s), naturally occurred in the great state of Florida. Sigh.

Ramona and Clementine write notes on their "Upsetting the Public for Fun and Profit" DVD sets.

We ran Clem through our “59 Second Gauntlet”, and really, we should have added an hour or so onto it because she was painfully, painfully sluggish answering the questions. Maybe she was slow to recover from the “special” Warped tour lemonade; whatever the reason, we only got several queries deep before time ran out.

Munchie gets acquainted with her dessert, after eating a live cricket on the show. Really. No calls from PETA yet.

Last on the individual interview slab was Munchie. Can you guess how she got her nickname? It’s not because she likes crackers, kids. Munchie is an outrageously brave and determined consumer of inedible objects and substances, including but certainly nowhere near limited to her own urine and liquefied sushi cocktails. So it was probably just another day in the park for her when we requested that she eat a specially harvested Live! From the Future crawly critter. We even let her choose between a cricket and a worm. The former was her choice, and she chewed and swallowed it like a pro. Would you like some sushi juice to wash that down, Munchie?

During a tense round of "Easy, Medium or Drunk", Ramona asks for a lifeline - in the form of a beer bong.

With the individual interviews thus concluded, we gathered all three for a game show finale – “Easy, Medium or Drunk”? All three took the stage along with bottles of beer; we asked questions of them one at a time, and the other two had to chug their beer until the questionee answered. The three had mixed success with the queries (yes, Rhode Island is the smallest state in the union, but Tokyo the most populous country in the world? Really?). Mixed success was the point, as it forced the Raddesses to drink a lot, spilling their beer and forcing them to belch repeatedly.

Lest you doubt the Rad Girls can fart like no others... here's proof.

Well, that wasn’t exactly the finale.Not content with simply eating live creatures or burping loudly on-camera, the ladies decided to attack our unsuspecting director Brian. They sprayed him with whipped cream and very undelicately licked it off his face. Ah, the glamor of show business. Is this what they teach in film and TV school, Brian?

Rad Girls - on MavTV - Friday nights! Love these GIRLS!

Check out this episode. Preferably while eating a box of live crickets. www.thestream.tv

The Rad Girls want you, yes YOU! Well, to watch their adventures. They air weekly on Mav TV; here’s their website.

Thanks again for voting our show: “BEST LIVE SHOW of 2009!”

Special Thanks to our sponsor, DrinkEvo.com, who make delicious energy drinks.

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Wrap: Catherine Black and T’Shaun Barrett

Our guests for the evening were actress and Canadian person Catherine Black and actor/comedian/Magic Castle insider T’Shaun Barrett.

Who can resist a nice smile like that? Certainly not us. Watch this show at www.thestream.tv.

For the first time in, oh, several shows, our core commando team of Stu, John and Jessie were in the house and working an episode together. To commemorate this increasingly special occasion, the three sang a commemorative song to open the show and greet the audience – “Hello”, in which they all, uh, sang “hello” both solo and in harmony. We have a sneaking suspicion that whoever wrote the lyrics didn’t spend a lot of time on their work. Following that, a brief recap of our three leads’ respective Valentine’s Days revealed that Stu spent the night alone thinking disturbingly sub-sexual thoughts about John’s hair.  Keep the pomade far away from that man, we beg you.

John, working hard and earning his pay on another set of lyrics... ummm, maybe not.

Fabulous hair was on full display with our first guest, Canadian actress Catherine Black. True to her name and hair color, Catherine has appeared in several movies/TV shows of a dark nature. Her most recent filmic effort, the fact-based The Donner Party, concerns a group of California settlers falling prey to cannibalism in a desperate bid for survival. Since she often appears in grim material, we felt it appropriate to throw the quiz “I Goth It Right” her way. Catherine had to guess which nearby word or name was replaceable by “Goth” (e.g., “Lead singer of Van Halen – David Lee Goth”). Would anyone like a bowl of chicken goth while you read this, by the way? Ha ha. We’re such wordsmiths.

Catherine looking bright and perky, at least before we forced her to take the Goth quiz.

There was nothing Goth-y about our next guest, actor and funny guy T’Shaun Barrett. T’Shaun’s been acting and comedian-ing since his very early teens, when he scored a part in a play being performed at his dad’s church. He’s since made it into film, TV and commercials, perhaps the most known of which is the current McDonald’s spot where he plays a penny-pinching, jack-hammering husband desperate to save money.

T'Shaun challenges Stu to a ninja fight in the parking lot. Good thing Our Host stashed a pair of nunchucks in his crutches.

T’Shaun confessed to us his childhood dream of becoming a ninja, which made him a perfect candidate for our quiz game requiring deadly stealth and nerves of iron, “Power, Fame or Fatty”. T’Shaun had to identify whether a named person was a current Olympic medalist, a president of a country, or a champion competitive eater. He somehow guessed that guy who holds the record for eating the most ears of corn at one sitting, but only broke even on the overall quiz. Obviously, he isn’t ninja material after all.

Stu falls for T'Shaun's old "I just made your paycheck disappear" trick.

It’s good that he has other talents, then. We provided a deck of cards for this aspiring magician (and Magic Castle apprentice – get us in, T’Shaun!) in our segment “Useful Skills With T’Shaun Barrett”, and he correctly guessed the card Stu picked. Rumors that our Houdini for the evening put small mirrors on the suspiciously placed set of crutches used by Stu for his “foot injury” have been strenuously denied by T’Shaun’s representatives and lawyers.

John can't hide his seething, rivalrous hatred for Stu. Good thing our guests are saner.

We wrapped the episode with one of our (okay, one of Jessie’s) favorite bits, “Strictly Platonic”. This edition of our old chestnut included lovelorn posts from one man with “all sorts of crazy fantasies about being a gay slut” and another who’s offering women to “meet for coffee i could rub your feet their or out in public”. This gentleman is particularly generous – “YES IT FREE” he writes.

Go ahead and watch this show. YES IT FREE. www.thestream.tv

Quick: who’s Clicker.com’s best of 2009 in the live TV category? We’ll give you a hint – us! Damn, we accidentally gave it away.

More links: past shows, Feedburner, Twitter, iTunes, Zune, Facebook, LiveFromTheFuture.com, IMDB

Wrap: Taryn Southern and Jonathan London

We nerded it up with web TV stars Taryn Southern of “Wrong Hole” fame and Geekscape’s Jonathan London.

Watch this show and make Taryn even happier. www.thestream.tv

For this show, we welcomed two stars from the internet world (like us! Bwahahahaaaa). First, of course, we had to get in our usual round of Florida-bashing with an appearance by the one and thankfully only Stan Vereen, North Florida’s #1 Above-Ground Pool Salesman. Stan made another concentrated effort to burst through his monthly sales quota, and quite nearly half-succeeded in hawking a few kiddie pools to some of our chat room audience.

Watch out: Jonathan "Python" London - will bring you into a world of hurt - with his personality!

In a rare moment of fair play following this, Stu gave voice to a letter from a disgruntled fan from his least favorite state. Our new friend Mr. Anonymous vented by saying that Stu’s regular Florida criticisms were… by and large correct. But, he warned, he was still annoyed and would take appropriate measures should the diatribes continue. Hmmm. Perhaps we could placate you with a nice above-ground pool at cost, sir? We’d even throw in a floating air mattress and a live bootleg of John Fulton and The Fresh at no extra charge.

Guest #1 skipped on the kiddie pools, but thankfully consented to hang out in the chair and be interviewed. Taryn is an accomplished young actress/writer/director  fully active in the web sphere, conceiving and starring in the video of her heart-rending power ballad about anal sex, “The Wrong Hole”, among other activities.

Taryn Southern - a guest who followed the rules - she brought cupcakes!

Proof that you can bribe writers and publicists with "Sprinkles" cupcakes.

Unfortunately, these activities do occasionally lead to Taryn falling victim to scams; she told us a story about getting ripped off by “moonlighting car repair” guys offering her a discount to “fix” her car’s dents; not surprisingly, they took her money and left the car in worse shape than before.

Taryn, reacting to the ice-cold comedy stylings of Paap.

Since Taryn wrote and conceived a show based around international travel, we felt it appropriate to subject her to our quiz on the subject, “Travel Freak”. She had to name which international city was described in each question. Out of the five queires, however, she only succeeded in nailing one – which American “party” destination had to pass a law banning the molestation of trash cans? You read that right – molesting trash cans. The answer could only be a city in Florida, in this case Daytona Beach.

See?! She DID have fun on the show.

Taryn closed her segment with a little sage and useful advice – how to make a web video for under $5. And her method? We won’t get into the details here; let’s just say it’s very effective and involves frosting, cake mix and red food coloring.

Next up was Jonathan, who was kind enough to bring Stu a genuine get-well card. Our Fearless Host, it turns out, snapped a foot bone or several while “auditioning for a part” – although witnesses swear that he was actually dancing drunk, naked and high on half a case of Robitussin cough syrup outside a Van Nuys liquor store when the incident occurred. The card had a cute picture of a kitten on it, which is perhaps what lured official LFTF dog mascot Bucky to the host’s desk to inspect the proceedings while we were on-air.

Every February 9th, these three "Friends" rejects reunite to commemorate the show we could've been on. Oh well, off to Denny's.

Thanks to Erin A. Darling for filling in for Schneiderpants!

We know you’re at work. You’re not supposed to be here anyway, so you might as well shirk some more by watching this show. www.thestream.tv

Clicker.com says we’re the best of 2009 in the live TV category. We didn’t even bribe them or anything.

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Wrap: Jon Foster, Nicolas Wright and Claudia Lonow from Accidentally on Purpose

Life is like a sitcom… at least it was on our latest episode, when we welcomed three very humorous guests from the CBS show Accidentally On Purpose – actors Jon Foster and Nic Wright, and creator/producer/writer Claudia Lonow.

If you watch this show, you’ll be as happy and entertained as these guys. We swear. www.thestream.tv

Quick, what do you get when you mix two funny actors and an ex-actress and current producer/writer with lots of good war stories from her years in Hollywood? Uh, well, the latest episode of our show, that’s what.

Would you sell any of these people an above-ground pool? We didn't - but we would!

Stu, slipping a little too easily into his new persona of Tallahassee’s #1 above-ground pool salesman Stan Vereen, made a valiant attempt to sell our musical director John Fulron a Diamond Star 52″ with “little or no” money down.

Stan Vereen, Tallahasse's #1 above-ground pool salesman gets dressed for work... as a douche bag. *belt courtesy of 2006.

John Fulton got the news he was hoping for from the clinic. Disease free - for 24 more hours!

On camera, John turned down the offer, but his surreptitious passing of several large-denomination bills Stu’s way after the show suggests he might have subsequently changed his mind. Pool-less Jessie, meanwhile, was re-christened Tits Johnson for no good reason at all by Stan/Stu.

Claudia Lonow, creator of "Accidentally on Purpose" shares all - and we mean ALL her secrets. Just go to 22:00 minutes in to the show and you'll get it.

We have a sneaking suspicion that Claudia lacks easy access to a nice vinyl-lined backyard swimming facility or has ever spent quality time in Tallahassee. Despite these glaring character flaws, we were open-minded enough to welcome her as our first guest of the night. She talked about the genesis of Accidentally On Purpose, and its very long journey from book adaptation to story pitch to TV series.  She also talked about her early years as an actress in Hollywood, when she played a role in the night-time soap Knots Landing, and at one point even made an appearance on The Tonight Show… tripping to the ground on her way to the guest chairs.

Once again, Stu tries his "I had a cameo on Dallas" pickup line on a guest. Once again, it fails.

In her actress days, Claudia also dated actors from CHiPS and Little House on the Prairie. Which was enough reason for us to grill her in the quiz segment of her appearance, “Bad Boyz“. Non-sympathetic characters from TV of that era were named and described, and she had to guess which show they appeared in. Facing slightly less pressure than she probably did after that stumble on The Tonight Show, Claudia nailed three out of the four questions (okay, there was a gimme – one Bad Boy was the man her character was married to on Knots Landing). Not content with grilling her about characters on 30-year old TV shows, we also put Claudia through our (not exactly) patented “59-Second Gauntlet“. She didn’t quite get all the questions, but managed to spill some very revealing tidbits about her past. We won’t get into it here, let’s just say we’re definitely buying this woman’s memoirs once they’re published.

Bucky, our newest P.A. is already sleeping on the job while Stu downloads a "make it funny" app for the show.

Given Claudia’s sterling performance in her quiz, we thought her colleagues Jon and Nic would nail the questionnaires we set up for them. BZZZT, wrong! With a strong handicap in favor of Canadian Nic, we pitted the two actors against each other in our contest “French Rock Band or Montreal Sex Shop?” But it was Jon who pulled off the major upset, taking the victory, or as they say in Quebec and in certain strange neighborhoods in Tallahassee, La Victoire.

Nic Wright with the "spoils" of his win on the show - pure, uncut Quebec Maple Syrup. *Made in Mexico. Jon Foster considers where he left his pomade. Oh yeah, Stu stole it.

Despite his painful loss, Nic didn’t slide into dejection, bitterness and eventual painkiller addiction. Instead he and Jon regaled Stan – I mean, Stu – with a tasty anecdote regarding Nic losing his twelve-gauge shotgun virginity (and nearly his shoulder) at an L.A. gun range with Jon. This activity was probably a little less challenging than Jon’s old pastime of noodling. For those many of you unfamiliar with noodling, it has something to do with looking for a good time in Iowa, catfish punching, river wading, and several days of fish leftovers for lunch.

Jon Foster quickly became our favorite person in the world by endorsing our show. Turns out, he was just covering a mustard stain. Great hair though.

We quizzed the boys a little more, raising the stakes substantially in our next test, “Ca-Nuck Buddy“, with a bottle of what Stu claimed was genuine 100% Canadian maple syrup. With much to play for, Nic took this one, guessing the identity of enough Canadian celebrities from a series of clues to claim the prize.

Finally, we ran our gentlemen guests through the “59 Second Gauntlet”. Despite enjoying a huge competitive advantage given that they had heard the very same questions only minutes earlier, Jon and Nic couldn’t quite make it to the end. Which was tragic, however at least Nic has that nice bottle of maple syrup to comfort and console him.

Are you suffering from anxiety and depression? So are we, but we're hiding our pain. That's ACTING!

Jon and Nic, by the way, have their own online talk show, and it’s remarkably free of Florida pool salesmen, pancake condiments or Canadian sex toys. Lunch with Nic and Jon comes to you every week or so on the AoP web site. And don’t forget to feast your eyes on Accidentally on Purpose itself, currently airing Monday nights at 8:30 on CBS.

We know you’re at work. You’re not supposed to be here anyway, so you might as well shirk some more by watching this show. www.thestream.tv

Clicker.com says we’re the best of 2009 in the live TV category. We didn’t even bribe them or anything.

More links: past shows, Feedburner, Twitter, iTunes, Zune, Facebook, LiveFromTheFuture.com, IMDB

Thanks to our sponsor DrinkEvo.com!

Wrap: The Bisutti Sisters

It was 3x the merriment with the cute, fun and all-around entertaining Bisutti Sisters. We even got a genuine runway walk out of it.

This show was very easy on the eyes. Watch it at www.thestream.tv.

Being a talk show host certainly has its unpleasant and challenging moments. This wasn’t one of them. Lucky Stu got to interview a three-pack of funny, interesting and yes, far from unattractive, young actresses. Collectively they are the Bisutti Sisters, and they graced our closet-sized studio for a night to discuss their work and give away some autographed schwag.

Talk show hosting is extremely hard and thankless work. Poor Stu obviously needs a vacation.

It was a packed house, because we also had our reliable sidekicks John Fulron and Jessie Schneids. John, by the way, was freshly returned from someplace vague and unspecified which caused him to miss last week’s show. In spite of that, he was in fine form throughout the evening, leading some to speculate that he might have taken advantage of the generous booze service on his cross-continental flight. Which may be what led him to confess, via the medium of song, that his fondest wish in life is to conceive a Chinese baby. We lacked the heart to tell him that he is, in fact, incurably Caucasian and thus far from the right ethnicity. After all, who are we to shatter a man’s dreams?

Jessie does her best to prop up John after his long journey. Those Bar Method endurance sessions are really coming in handy.

The three Bisuttis all took turns in the interview chair. First up was Mason, a rapidly up and coming young actress. You might have seen her as Wasted Party Girl in the Foundation For A Drug-Free World’s public service TV ad, “Cocaine, Party All Night”. It seems that Foundation overshot with its casting in the ad, as it probably encouraged viewers to snort coke and stay up all night in the hopes of meeting girls like Mason. Regardless, our actress friend has since moved up into the feature world, snagging a role in the currently filming Paradi$e.

Next was her sister-in-law Kylie, who triumphed over many, many other young women in a contest to become a Victoria’s Secret Angel. Due to a highly inconvenient bout of laryngitis Kylie was rendered speechless, but she gamely soldiered on to become our first celebrity guest answering questions via whiteboard. She got a break from the whiteboard action by giving us her version of the runway model strut. This was a splendid job of acting, as our studio carpet is about as far away as humanly possible from a high-fashion model corridor.

Nice try, Stu, but let's leave the model preening to the professionals, eh?

Bisutti the third was the effervescent (we love throwing that adjective into our blog posts) Danielle. A fine actress, she’s one of the leads in the Nickelodeon series True Jackson, VP and has also dipped into the feature world with a prominent role in the recent No Greater Love, among other works. For the first – and very possibly last – time, we got a Vietnamese language lesson on our show. Polylingual Danielle schooled us on how to say “please” and “thank you” in order to ingratiate oneself, for example, at certain LA-area nail salons. Stu in particular is grateful for this help; our spies say he immediately rushed out for a deluxe mani-pedi once the episode wrapped.

No, those lovely bracelets weren't consolation prizes for enduring the show. Jewelry courtesy of Lia Sophia (www.liasophia.com)

First, though, Stu had to emcee our favorite Bisutti-themed quiz, “Which Bisutti Do It Be?”. No, this wasn’t a test of horrendous English syntax, rather a game in which contestants had to guess which piece of biographical information belonged to which Bisutti sister. Battling for fame and glory was our own John “Mao-Tse” Fulton facing one of our chat room fans, sociology geek. The quiz was tight and came down to the nail-biting final question, which S.G. got correct and John flubbed entirely, kind of like a drunk man stumbling through an airport.

You can never have enough Bisuttis. A pair from another generation materialized from our studio audience.

Wow, that was a lot of Bisuttis. Next week our sister count will drop to zero as we welcome a pair of guests who are not even remotely related to each other,  Nicolas Wright and Claudia Lonow of the CBS sitcom Accidentally On Purpose. Until then, keep chugging those little airplane bottles of bourbon; we’ll be the ones working on our runway strut.

All the cool kids are doing it. Don’t you want to be cool too? Then watch this episode.

We done won ourselves a prize – Clicker.com’s best of 2009 awards in the live TV category.

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Wrap: Nar Williams from Science of the Movies

We stump a science guy, getting trivial with Science of the Movies’s Nar Williams.

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Fresh from our victory in Clicker.com’s “best of” 2009 awards in the live TV category (read all about it here), we launched our inaugural show of 2010. And what better way to start a year than by interviewing a guy named “Nar”, specifically Nar Williams, best known as host of the popular Discovery Channel show Science of the Movies.

Our fearless director Brian gives up on our trivia quiz long before our guest.

When Nar’s not filming that, he’s producer, host and co-writer of the online movie/TV/comic book preview show Heads Up!. When he’s not doing that, he’s waxing scientific on his personal blog, writing a column for the online magazine Geekscape and being 50% of the improv comedy team Goober & The Viking. If, somehow, he’s not occupied with any of the above, he’s thinking about Ye Olde Days when he was a callow youth playing Dungeons & Dragons. Nar’s still a fanatic about the game.

Or is he? We tested his knowledge with a classic trivia game we recently made up, “Monsters From the Future… or is That the Past?”. This clumsy title very poorly described the object of the contest, which was to identify whether a particular name was a) a monster from D&D;  b) a monster from a movie; c) a Scandinavian death metal band; or our sentimental favorite, d) a bacterial illness.

We feared that Nar would ace the test, showing us up for the Wikipedia-surfing chumps we are. WRONG! He scored a measly 10%, identifying only the word “sepsis”, which as the entire world knows is a bacterial illness. This is clearly a man who, despite his geek credentials and history, doesn’t know his Dracolich from his Vaporighu.

Is that a pack of moon rats in the studio, or is Nar just scared of the next quiz?

Nar did score slightly better on our other quizzes. “Hollyweird Science” taxed his knowledge of erroneous science in movies, and he correctly nailed a semi-majority of the questions. He was also nearly successful in negotiating our “59 Second Gauntlet”, in which we learned that he’d rather fly than be a billionaire (I’ll take that money off your hands, Nar, thank you), and that the biggest jerk in his school was “fucking Greg“. Yeah, we didn’t like that guy much either.

Puzzlement seemed to be in the air this show. Stu tries to figure it all out and fails utterly.

When Nar wasn’t failing our intellectually dubious exams, he was jawboning about his many projects, including the Discovery show, Heads Up! and his upcoming series, Fan Boy Fun House. God, how many hours does this man have in a day? Here at Live! From the Future, we’re lucky if we even make it to the ATM before the convenience store closes.

Don't worry Nar, we'll give you some hints next time!

Speaking of closing, we’ll go now (we have some Twinkies and Old Milwaukee to buy before the store shuts for the night. Wait. Waaaait!). Next week we’ll be back with Stu, Jessie and John Fulton, who was absent this show but will return for the next. According to his publicists, John is categorically “not pulling a Conan and taking a huge backhander from Stu to leave the show and do something more heroic and worthwhile… unless, of course, he is.” Whew, that puts our minds at rest.



Your eyes are getting sleepy. You are drifting into your own subconscious. When I snap my fingers, you will awaken feeling refreshed. Now watch this show.

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Wrap: Comic Steve Byrne

We funnied it up with witty and offensively handsome comedian Steve Byrne and a special guest!

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This was our last show of the year (awwwww) and we did it with two out of three regulars (Jessie was out “sick”; ugly rumors had her nursing a violent and durable post-birthday hangover). The very capable and not at all hung over Martini Beerman did IM duties for the night, and has so far escaped with only minimal psychological damage.

Well, if your surname is "Beerman", you pretty much have to live the part. Martini models her beverage of choice.

With our crew thus assembled, we launched right into the comedy. Because that’s what we likes to do and it sure beats slinging burgers for a living. Stu got things started by possibly offending yet another state in our great Union, trotting out his impersonation of “Jersey Guy”. We also might have ticked off a few cars by showing controversial pictures from John and Stu’s visit to the LA Auto Show in our first bit, “Car Show, Yo“. Okay, maybe not controversial, unless you’re offended by Our Host’s white gangsta posing in front of various bland automobiles. Really, Stu, you should act more appropriately around generic, mass-produced vehicles.

Once we were done with the cars, it was time for the guests. The main Occupier of Guest Chair was comedian Steve Byrne, fast ascending the various Mounts Olympus of the comedy world (The Tonight Show, an HBO special, USO tours, etc.). Steve is of mixed Korean and Irish DNA, and Stu asked if his upbringing or ancestry had anything to do with his choice of joke telling as a profession. No, actually it was because working as a grunt at a comedy club was the only job he could get in New York back in his lean days. How’s that for destiny?

One of these two guys is actively entertaining the audience. Can you guess which? (hint: it's probably not Stu)

We then launched into the really deep, philosophical questions, from both Stu and the chat room, like “do you ever get mistaken for Jon of Jon & Kate Plus 8?“ (answer: no, because Steve’s in decent shape and actually has talent). The interview built to a rousing crescendo with the nail-biting game show segment of the evening, “Korean Or Irish Proverb”? The studio audience could barely keep to their seats as Steve desperately groped for answers (actually, maybe that was because of all the energy drink they overdosed on). Amazingly, such dissimilar cultures as Korea and Ireland seem to produce the same variety of homespun wisdom about cattle carts and hungry mice, so Steve barely eked out a win, answering a bare minimum of the queries correctly.

We had another burning question for him, being the smart and good looking entertainer he is. How, oh how, would he ask our fetchingly attractive producer LV out on a date? Looking into the camera, he deadpanned “show me some respect”. Aha, now that’s how showbiz types get the ladies. Boys, are you taking notes?

Stu finally figures out the difference between Korea and Ireland, while Steve acts convincingly impressed.

Steve was only getting warmed up. He was so overjoyed at his victory in the proverb quiz, he started dry-humping the host desk. Never let it be said that we don’t make an effort to please our guests. Or our studio props, come to think of it.

We still have it in us to entertain the old fashioned way, though, and to prove it we brought out our special guest, actress Danielle Bisutti. The very tuneful Danielle sang a few numbers with John, closing the show with a nice hit or two of music.

John shows us a little leg. And he's not even drunk yet! Don't feed him any beer, whatever you do.

The two harmonizers also closed out our 2009. It was a hell of a year, and we’re glad even the host desk got some action out of it. Who knows which props will be propositioned in 2010; tune in to find out. We’re back in mid-January, so enjoy your holidays and New Year while we’re getting our R&R. And good luck hitting on that furniture.

The internet is evil and a waste of time! Except for our show’s home at www.thestream.tv

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Wrap: Sex Rehab’s Phil Varone and Jeff and Greg Burns from NCIS

We got musical with drummer Phil Varone, fresh from his stint on VH1’s Sex Rehab. From elsewhere in TV land we welcomed award-winning composers Jeff and Greg Burns from TV’s #1 show, NCIS.

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If you’ve seen at least one Live! From the Future episode, you know by now just how much we like music. Appropriately for our tastes, we had a trio of musical guests this episode – twin TV composers Jeff and Greg Burns, and drummer/standup comedian Phil Varone.

Shocking though it may be, Phil and Stuart still use less combined hair product than Bret Michaels.

Before the troika settled into the guest chairs, we naturally had to celebrate the great December holiday. No, not Christmas, silly. December 8 is Jessie Schneiderman’s birthday, of course! So we celebrated in exuberant yet severely budget-constrained style by showering her with balloons and booze… bad idea.

Down goes #4! Don't drink kids... because this...

... can lead to this. (*10 minutes after her shots, she was 9 months pregnant.)

The brothers Burns were up first, and they brought Jessie – whoops, the show – a special present. The two somehow found time in their busy schedule to score a clip from LFTF. We like challenging our guests, so the clip we provided was of Current TV’s Conor Knighton demonstrating how to properly arrange a paper toilet seat liner.

What you can't see in this picture is that the beard in only on one half of his face, while his brother has half a beard on the other side.

One segment that might have a fighting chance is “Prog Rock or NCIS Episode“. This thrilling, down-to-the-wire quiz tests deep entertainment knowledge and reveals just how much time a person wasted getting high as a teenager and listening to ponderous old music.

The brothers nearly took a fall on that one, saving themselves at the last moment by identifying a Genesis album.

Missing: One hunky guitar player and my summer blue polo shirt.

We didn’t torture the brothers enough with inane questions, so we also put them through our patented “59 Second Gauntlet“. Jeff and Greg were more successful at that one, getting all the way through past the final question, the all-time stumper “my career is like breakfast because ________?” Next up was Phil Varone, an old friend of the show (read: “person who’s crazy enough to do this thing more than once”). Phil’s getting a lot of attention these days thanks to his current stint on Sex Rehab with celebrity brain fixer Dr. Drew Pinsky.

After getting out of Sex Rehab, Phil explained why his wrist has been cramping up.

When not recovering from his sex problem, Phil finds time to do standup and play drums, not necessarily in that order. He couldn’t resist dropping a plug for his upcoming hosting gig at LA’s Improv, where he’ll be introducing the Sex, Stand Up and Rock & Roll show.

Happy Birthday Jessie... You're the Best-y... (real lyrics).

Unlike his fellow musicians the Burns twins, Phil didn’t quite make it through his edition of “59 Second Gauntlet”. Perhaps it was that one missing second that threw him. Either way, we still like him, and we’ll happily have him on as a guest again. As long as he isn’t too busy chatting with Oprah, that is.

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